A friend by any other name...

Howdy all! It's been too long since my last blog -  my brains going to explode.

So the other day, someone said to me: "Wow, you have so many friends!"
    
And I thought: "Wow Pam, you do have a lot of friends. I must be really likeable!" Then I thought: "But wait Pam, those people aren't all your friends - we're just friend-ly." I have lots of acquaintances, co-workers, associates, partners, friends of friends, etc….I think we use the word friend because it's easy. One syllable that flows off the tongue; those other words are just to difficult to slide in easily into casual conversations. So let's take a moment and delve lightly into the meaning of this word: friend.

Just as some of us (read: me) want to think we're easily likeable because we have so many friends, it's also a compliment to others when you call them friend. You instantly convey the impression to them that, hey, I like you and I'll be there for you - welcome to my circle of trust. A friend of a friend instantly becomes your friend. Parents of your children's friends are automatically your friends…we're friends with the family… our family likes your family. But what happens after the children are grown up or they themselves are no longer friends? What happens when one of the kids (yours or theirs) acts like a spoiled brat and ruins it for everyone? Behave yourself - the whole family friendship is at stake! Those friendships definitely serve their purpose, but are rarely lifelong. And what about all those other categories of friendship? Best friends? Sister friends? Bromances? (LOL - gotta love that one). Frenenemies anyone???

When does an acquaintance cross that invisible line into friendship? Apparently, for a lot of people, it's upon drinking and/or eating with each other. Having one light and entertaining conversation will suffice, thank you. Does this mean that person will hold your hair while you puke? Don't think so. They may do you the favor of looking for your friends who will rush to your side. (Although, that does bring up a story about a total stranger on a boat who got seasick and I was the only one who would hold the bucket for her and the towel over her head to give her some privacy…but, that was just because she was 90ish and I was stuck next to her…and I definitely wasn't looking to be her friend; I just wanted to get her off the boat in one piece.)

Friend has just as many complications as the word love (i.e., - I love that movie, this car, my dog, my husband, child, and I really love that purse!). Seriously, English is one of the most complicated languages on earth and we can't come up with better words to define our friendly relationships? Or is it that we don't want to define those relationships to closely? If you call someone friend - doesn't it make it so? Doesn't that mean they have to be there for you? Nope. Call them anything you like. We all know what a true friend is - hey there's an idea: true-friend - trufend… uhhhm, let's keep working on that one.

I'm now involved in a new business that is all about making new friends - learning how to connect with others - people in your new network, strangers and reconnecting with family and friends you've lost touch with. I'm all for this as it opens up my world for new friends, but I'm pretty darn loyal to my real friends (and you know who you are); the people who stuck with us through our financial devastations from this economy, who've watched us lose our businesses and home and still called (frequently) to check on us, invite us to dinner, provide a shoulder to lean on, took us out for fun events, offered to help us move, you name it - we could be confident that if we needed help their was always someone on the other end of the phone who would come at a moment's notice. We're blessed with a wonderful circle of friends.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "Circumstance don't define a man. They reveal him." This is true of your friends too.

That's the definition of a trufrend. And I love them.

Bear hugs,
Pam
P.S. We're at 105 pounds lost between us, 5 more pounds and we'll have lost our daughter-in-law.